If criminals were smart, and few of them are, they wouldn’t get tattoos and very distinguishing marks like horns implanted in their head.

“Who did you see running from the scene?”

“It was dark but I did see a guy who he had been beaten in the head and was left with lumps.”

A Hells Angels honcho and two other men – one with a Satanic “666″ tattooed on his forehead – were charged with killing a key witness in the biker’s upcoming trial. Via NY Daily News

I can’t imagine you haven’t seen the commericial but if you haven’t the CEO stands outside with a truck behind him.  On the truck is his social security number.  He speaks about how relaxed he is because of his company.  Great sales speach…until this came out.

But according to a new class-action lawsuit filed last week in Jackson County, LifeLock’s identity theft protection services were so inept that Davis’ personal information was stolen repeatedly.

I won’t get into the issues with the service and the lawsuit as you can read about it here.  But how dumb do you have to be to imagine that

1. A bored hacker who likes challenges wouldn’t go after you,
2. Criminals wouldn’t be able to slip something by someone long enough to get to you, or
3. That once it did happen to you, the news would be everywhere.

So now he has to deal with lawsuits and his name was already plastered everywhere branding him an apparent failure evident in this last line of the article.

“In Wisconsin, a woman’s debit card was stolen, and that thief used that card to sign up for LifeLock,” he said. “If you can’t provide the basic information to verify someone for subscription purposes, how can you be relied upon to protect people’s identities?”

LAPD photo

Two women in their 70′s, who are wealthy, decide to pick up homeless men, insure them and then run them over.  In probably one of the only black and white movies I like, Arsenic and Old Lace, two nice old ladies poisoned elderly lonely men because they thought they were suffering.

These women apparently drugged the guys and ran them over.  Here is the news from 2006 where the family, as always, defends their own and here is the more recent one where Olga Rutterschmidt and Helen Golay get convicted.

Dumbelievable Point #1:  They thought since they got away with it once, they should do it again.  November 1999 and June 2005 were not far enough apart.

Dumbelievable Point #2:  They took out 23 insurance policies.  Red flag anyone?  And they took them out together.  Untrusting duo.  Never would have been caught if it was one person on the policy.

Dumbelievable Point #3:  They thought when they were arrested and alone that there was no reason to think they were being video taped.

Dumbelievable Point #4:  They are in their 70′s.  Why are there 160 counts?  They will be dead in 10 years.  Make 10 counts.  If that doesn’t work, bring in another 10 while they stay locked up.  That is just wasted paperwork and jury time.

Two groups of people will be the site the most.  Dumb criminals and stupid teenagers, sprinkled with random hi jinks from the rest of the population.